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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788925">The Perfect Jedi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunsethour/pseuds/thesunsethour'>thesunsethour</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Kid Anakin, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, anyway satine is the best</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:22:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunsethour/pseuds/thesunsethour</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clearing out Qui-Gon’s possessions from their dormitory had been a more arduous task than Obi-Wan had anticipated.  As with most everything else, Qui-Gon Jinn’s relationship with the Jedi Code’s views on personal belongings was strained at best.  </p><p>Luckily, he had Satine to help him sort through the memories.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Perfect Jedi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Was Satine at Qui-Gon's funeral?  Probably not.  Did she travel to Coruscant to pay her respects?  100%</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why are you throwing that one away?”</p><p>Satine’s clear voice pierced through the heavy air around them.  Even with his back turned Obi-Wan could picture her pose; head held high, eyes narrowed, one slender hand resting on her waist.</p><p>“Obi-Wan?”</p><p>He turned around this time, to see her holding a frame with a yellowing picture in it.  It was unusual in many regards, not least because it was not taken by a HoloCamera, but by an outdated machine that belonged to a kindly local on Draboon.  It showed three figures in it, two teenagers and one adult.</p><p>“I thought I mentioned,” he eventually answered voice tight, “that I would only be keeping necessities.”</p><p>Clearing out Qui-Gon’s possessions from their dormitory had been a more arduous task than he had anticipated.  As with most everything else, Qui-Gon Jinn’s relationship with the Jedi Code’s views on personal belongings was strained at best.  There were numerous data pads strewn around the place, and even some old-fashioned paper books.  Plants and empty tea boxes lined the shelves, and when removed revealed a layer of dust that Obi-Wan knew must run along the back of the entire top shelf.  It had been a chaotic few months prior to the mission to Naboo and then Tatooine, resulting in neither Master nor Apprentice being home for longer than an hour or two at a time.</p><p>“Necessities!” he heard Satine mutter under her breath.  “Ridiculous.”</p><p>The vast majority of the late Jedi Master’s possessions were to be donated to local charities or given back to the Temple.  Obi-Wan knew he must keep a few small things; his Master’s writings on various subjects that were of particular interest to him, and maybe his main data pad, there could be information on there from previous missions that would be of use in the future.  He had no need for sentimentality; he was a Jedi.</p><p>But the picture stuck in his mind.</p><p>It was taken on a windy day, he remembered.  Even if he didn’t remember the particular day the picture was evidence enough.  The tall man in the back to the right had a section of greying brown hair blowing across his lined forehead, and another twisting in the breeze behind him.  In front of him and to his right stood a teenage girl, no more than 18 standard years, with her blonde fringe having become somewhat tangled, leaving it curled as it swooped across her forehead.  She had one arm thrown around a boy of similar age and height, whose long braid was dancing in the wind, much to the girl’s amusement.</p><p>That was the other thought that struck him, as he looked at the picture.  They all looked so happy.</p><p>The tall man had a small smile on his face and was gazing somewhere beyond the camera.  The girl had her mouth open and head angled to her right in laughter, nose scrunched and eyes bright, as if laughter was a rare gift that she needed to savour.  The boy, who also had one arm thrown around the girl, was staring back at her in what he, at the time, had called mock annoyance, but what was in all actuality a fond grin.</p><p>Their clothes were rather tattered, a consequence of nearly 8 months on the run from bounty hunters.  They were just about to leave Draboon for another planet when one of the locals offered to take their picture.  He was a local photographer, Obi-Wan later learned.  The girl had been immediately worried, but the tall man had reminded her that in these clothes no one was likely to recognise her.  He was right, and the picture was taken in safety.</p><p>“Obi-Wan?”</p><p>He was forced out of his thoughts by Satine’s voice once again.  She had moved to stand in front of where he leaned against the kitchen counter.</p><p>“I didn’t even know he kept that.” He nodded to the frame on the counter.  “I thought maybe you had taken it back with you to Mandalore.”</p><p>Her soft head shake confirmed her negative response, and Obi-Wan pushed himself off the kitchen counter and picked it up.  “Its yours.  I think he would have wanted you to keep it.”</p><p>When he had realised Satine had travelled all the way from Mandalore to Coruscant to pay her respects to the late Jedi Master, he knew he had to at least greet her.  It would have been the height of rudeness not to.  What he didn’t realise, however, was that five hours later she would be in his dormitory, helping him box away the remnants of Qui-Gon’s life.</p><p>She looked unsure at his offer of ownership of the picture but nodded gratefully anyway.</p><p>“When are you due to pick up Anakin from the Halls of Healing?”</p><p>Obi-Wan knew that Satine had to be gone before Anakin was finished with his medical examination.  He quite selfishly hoped that it would take longer than anticipated, but that was not the case.</p><p>“About half an hour.”</p><p>Satine’s swift nod greeted this answer, and she began to button up her (ridiculously ornate) coat.  Obi-Wan watched her, taking in every graceful movement.  She slipped the picture into one of the front pockets and turned to face Obi-Wan again.</p><p>“It’s perfectly alright to mourn, you know.”</p><p>This somewhat sudden declaration had caught the newly knighted Jedi off-guard, and he had to blink several times in confusion.  “What?”</p><p>“It’s perfectly alright to mourn,” she repeated, as if his hearing and not her words had been the issue.</p><p>Obi-Wan regarded her warily.  “Not for a Jedi,” he reminded her.  “I have duties now.  A Padawan.”</p><p>“You’ve always had duties.”</p><p>“More immediate ones then.”</p><p>“Obi-Wan, listen to me.  You were a Padawan yourself not three days ago, and now you will be responsible for raising a child!  I understand your culture promotes repression- “</p><p>“It is not repression; it is releasing emotions into the Force!” he interjected heatedly.</p><p>“-and that you are obviously struggling with that at the moment- “</p><p>“Stars above Satine will you ever just- “</p><p>“-but that man raised you!” she finished haughtily, staring daggers at him from across the kitchen island.</p><p>Obi-Wan’s tongue felt impossibly heavy in his mouth.  “He taught me.  Not raised.”</p><p>Satine’s eyes, which had softened momentarily in the silence following her pronouncement, now sharpened once again.</p><p>“That is the problem, Obi-Wan!  From today onwards you will have a nine-year-old child looking to you for guidance, and you cannot even admit to yourself that Qui-Gon meant something to you.  You won’t be able to handle this!  This had always been the issue hasn’t it, my dear?  ‘There is no emotion, there is peace’.  Well if that isn’t just the biggest heap of nonsense I’ve ever heard…”</p><p>He knew Satine was still speaking, but he heard no more of what she was saying.  All he could hear, repeated over and over again in her upper Mandalorian accent was </p><p>
  <i>You won’t be able to handle this </i>
</p><p>
  <i>You won’t be able to handle this </i>
</p><p>
  <i>You won’t be able to handle this </i>
</p><p>Oh, he knew that.</p><p>Obi-Wan had expected to have at least five years of knighthood before even considering taking a Padawan.  He had expected to have Qui-Gon to turn to when he would need guidance, or even just need a good cup of tea.  He didn’t know how to handle this.  His Padawan was years behind his agemates, it would take months of extensive lessons for Obi-Wan to have Anakin even halfway caught up to the other nine-year olds.  His basic lightsaber forms were also, obviously, non-existent.  The boy wasn’t even raised in the Temple!  What did he eat?  Would Coruscant’s food be too alien for him?  There was no way he would be able to obtain any food like whatever Anakin was used to on Tatooine.  Qui-Gon would know what to do.  He had a certain way with misfits and rejects.  Qui-Gon would-</p><p>Satine was still talking.  He had forgotten, in the five or so years since he had seen her in person, about her astonishing ability to talk at someone without stopping for minutes on end.</p><p>“- and if I were you, I’d consider talking to your Jedi Council again.  Surely someone else could train the boy.  I mean, he’s just one child, how important can he possibly be?  You see, I thi- “</p><p>“He’s more important than you could possibly understand.”</p><p>Obi-Wan was hoping that this statement would sound strong and powerful, but his breath hitched in the middle of it and tears were forming in his eyes.</p><p>Satine’s monologue cut off, and she turned to look at Obi-Wan, eyebrows furrowed in concern.</p><p>“A few hours before his death Qui-Gon repudiated me in front of the Jedi Council in favour of Anakin Skywalker.”</p><p>Satine’s sharp and outraged ‘What?’ nearly interrupted his thought process, but he held up a hand, pleading for her momentary silence.</p><p>“He saw that Anakin was powerful and needed guidance.  He said I was ready for my trials.  Then he fell on Naboo and that was deemed my trials.  Imagine, I failed to save my Master and am given a Knighthood for it.”  Obi-Wan’s voice was staccato and monotone.  His eyes were downcast, and his hands gripped the kitchen countertop behind him so hard his knuckles were white.</p><p>“With his dying breath he told me to train the boy.  I failed him in life, Satine, but I will not fail him in death.  Anakin Skywalker will be trained by me.”</p><p>Obi-Wan took another deep breath and continued.  “I know you think me incapable.  I think that of myself as well.  But – But what sort of man am I if I don’t try to train this boy to the best of my ability?  I need to be prefect, Satine.  No silly little photographs of times gone by.  Anakin needs a Master in control of his emotions, not – not some scared Padawan who – who- “</p><p>Neither Obi-Wan nor Satine would ever find out the end of that sentence, for Satine bolted over to the other side of the room and wrapped her arms around Obi-Wan’s neck, as she had done countless times while on the run.  Automatically, his hands wrapped around to circle her waist, and he buried his face in her shoulder.</p><p>“You are more than capable of this Obi-Wan.  I’m sorry if I insinuated otherwise.  We both know how twisted our words become in anger.”</p><p>She pulled back from him to rest her hands on either side of his face.  “Qui-Gon believed in you, as do I.  You don’t need to be perfect; you need to be you.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened, and he opened his mouth to argue against her, but Satine leaned in and kissed him instead.</p><p>It was like they were 18 again, stealing kisses behind tree trunks or in the backs of dark caves or huddled together in a sleeping bag.  Obi-Wan half expected to hear the thud of Qui-Gon’s footsteps behind them, forcing them to jump apart before he would discover them.  For the first time since Naboo, his brain felt light.  This was accomplishing what meditation couldn’t.  He grinned slightly, making Satine huff a breath of laughter against his mouth before continuing.  So much for being a perfect Jedi, he thought bitterly, as his hands caressed Satine’s rosy cheeks.</p><p>He could be a perfect Jedi starting tomorrow.  Right now, however, with Satine’s hands combing through his hair, he was content with being the terrible Jedi he knew he was.</p><p>A buzz from Obi-Wan’s comm broke them apart and reading the message Obi-Wan realised that it was time to pick Anakin up.  Time for Satine to leave for Mandalore once again.<br/>
Satine knew this too and placed one more tender kiss on his cheek before moving toward the door.  Before she exited she turned around and smiled.</p><p>“I expect to hear from you at least every few weeks.  Don’t disappoint your Duchess.”</p><p>Obi-Wan smiled softly in response, but Satine was not done talking.</p><p>“You are not weak for mourning, nor are you a traitor for kissing me.  We both know our duties; to the Jedi Order, to Mandalore.  I would never ask of you anything that would betray your culture.  All I wish is for you to see that you are more than capable.  Direct some of that Jedi Compassion inwards.”  She paused for a few seconds, eyes closing.</p><p>“Ret'urcye mhi ner cyar'ika.”</p><p>
  <i>Goodbye, my darling.</i>
</p><p>It was only hours later, when Anakin had worn himself out asking questions about the mechanics behind every electrical appliance in the dormitory and had retired to bed that Obi-Wan realised that the picture lay face down on the kitchen counter.  He was sure that Satine had pocketed it.  </p><p>Obi-Wan picked it up, tracing his finger over the curling edges, and smiled softly.</p><p>He could be a near-perfect Jedi.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was my first star wars fic please be nice xoxo</p><p>my tumblr is the thesunsethour</p></blockquote></div></div>
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